“My plan to save America from itself by using an army of fat children to become professional models and therefore making me rich has had a MAJOR breakthrough.  I may have found the answer to all my prayers.  I present you with Adam.  I found him at the local state college where he’s a freshman.  Rarely have I seen a fat youth with such drive and devotion.  Take a fucking look at that shirt.  It’s like he’s warning that chick who’s on his team chugging that beer what’s gonna go down.  Like a proud peacock Adam is showing his bright, fat colors and parlaying it into getting some fucking poontang.  I’m gonna turn him into the Kate Moss of fat child models.  Fuck you America.  Fuck you in the face.”

-T-Bag Jones