“Spike’s was this one hot dog place on Thayer Street in Providence .
Now there are a few more.  Two of these dogs and most regular people
are very done.  But they have that thing where if you eat enough of
them, they take your picture and put your fat ass on the wall.  But
check out the woman who ate 17 dogs and kings it – she’s like totally
normal sized.  She doesn’t even look tired of eating.  Maybe someone
is holding her up.  Miss Piggy used to say that you should never eat
more than you can lift.  But since Miss Piggy is a Muppet, what she
really means is, never eat more than the person holding you up can
lift.

Apparently they have good veggie dogs too but I wouldn’t know
personally, because why the hell would anyone ever eat a veggie dog if
they aren’t vegetarian.  Veggie dogs aren’t any good.  Veggie burgers
can get pretty good though.”

-Caleb