Topanga I already told you, you be looking good all day everyday. Why don’t you give me a call and I’ll help you be even more okay with your weight.

323-669-8819

It’s holiday time coming up – I’ll buy you a big turkey for a very romantic
dinner, I won’t skimp on all the trimmings – wait a minute, you are all
ready a BIG TURKEY. So just come over and I’ll do the stuffing.
Hehehehehehehe. call me: 323.669.8819

I will follow you anywhere – I mean it will always be a food place so I am
cool with that. (Please stay away from Indian place’s. Last time you came
after after Indian food you clogged up both my toilets, and I had to call
the plumber.) We both love food, if that’s not a match made in a supermarket
I don’t know what is. Dessert isle? Call me: 323.669.8819

You know how you can get pictures printed on toilet paper? Well you can -
look it up on the world wide web and shit! Anyway, its sort of costly, but
its cool, I got like 200 rolls printed with that picture of you dressed up
as a pig from that old episode of Boy Meets World, then one day when I was
wiping I realized it was a new picture of you at the beach, in a two piece.
Hott!  Call me: 323.669.8819

You ever seen those European pornos? By European pornos I mean German
barnyard and scat films. T – look up scat if you don’t know what it means, I
know you do it often, but you might have a different name for it. You know,
only really classy stuff. Anyway, back to my point, I think I saw your mom
in one of the films, looked just like you! Oink oink! Call me: 323.669.8819

I love bing cherries, but I hate pits, I guess everyone hates the pits. You
ever heard of a cherry pitter? They are kinda tight dawg! You can make a big
ass bowl o’ cherries no pits and fast like. You don’t even cut your fingers
like you do when you cut them with a knife. But its cool when you cut
yourself with the knife pitting cherries cuz you cant really tell cuz the
cherries are the same color. You be feeding your guests blood and shit!  It
be some vampire shit! Call me: 323.669.8819

When is the last time you ate some veggies? I aint talking about tempura
style. But I would love to smear you in tempura batter and flash fry you.
Then nibble on you all night. I don’t care much for soy sauce, maybe ill dip
you in some duck sauce? Call me: 323.669.8819

Remember when you used to play musical chairs in school? I heard a rumor
about you – you were about to win your schools musical chair championship
and your favorite song was playing (I wont embarrass you with naming what
that is) and you sat on the chair and it broke! Disqualified! You out! But
you are never out with me. Call me: 323.669.8819

T- you might not know this, but you were talking in your sleep last night.
Something about a 2 for 1 special on value packs of Hostess Cakes – all
varieties. I don’t know if the sale was real or just a dream. Baby, I’ll buy
you all the hostess you can eat. Back to the dream, do you know you drool
when you sleep? I guess you probably do, that’s why you have plastic sheets.
Call me: 323.669.8819

Hey – the grass in my back yard keeps getting more and more dead – cuz I have two female dogs – and their pee-pee kills stuff. When we start dating am I going to have the same issues with you? Or you are house trained? Some how I doubt it – CALL ME: 323-669-8819